what a complicated drama. part 2

masih lanjutan dari postingan sebelumnya.

singkat cerita,gue balikan sama "Rangga" (baca post sebelumnya)
uhum yang perlu digaris bawahin disini gue jadian cuman 2hari
yak.

sejujurnya gue merasa jahat. banget.
awalnya gue pikir dia bercanda. kenapa?
logika yee mana ada org yang langsung sayang cuma dlm 1 hari? apa lg ga pernah contact sama sekali.
dan gue tanya langsung ke orangnya.
jawabannya cukup diluar dugaan...

"gue juga gatau,rasa sayang ke lo ga pernah bisa ilang. gue juga ga ngerti kenapa"

gue awalnya ga percaya. been 2years since our separation. it just cant be real..

"lo tanya semua temen deket gue siapa sih yang gak tau lo? lo pikir siapa cewe gue abis putus sama lo? ga ada! tiap temen gue tanya kenapa gue ga mau pacaran,gue ceritain tentang lo. di cengin mulu gue"

i still cant believe.

"kenapa lo ga mau cari yang lain? banyak banget cewe yang jauh lebih baik dari gue diluar sana"

"tapi ga ada yang sama kaya lo. gue gamau.gue maunya sama lo"

thiss guy made me speechless.

hell-o its 2years. he's cute. he's smart. what the world......

semakin gue tau semuanya,semakin gue merasa bener2 jahat.
dia segitu sayang gue. tapi gue? geez gue bahkan gada rasa sedikit pun!!
yeah am a devil on this page.

akhirnya gue minta selesai aja. emang ini jahat banget.
tapi gue akan semakin jahat kalo ngebiarin dia terus tambah sayang tanpa gue bales.
hey,i knew how it feels like.

awalnya dia gamau.

"lo ga sakit hati apa?"

"udah kebal"

pada akhirnya  semua emang harus di udahin.

"Bilang lo ga sayang gue,dan semua selesai."

entah kenapa gue yang merasa miris. seandainya gue jadi dia,seandainya gue yang terus sayang selama 2 tahun,seandaniya gue yang terus berharap sama harapan kosong sampai akhirnya kesampean tapi dianggap ga lebih dari bercandaan...sakit pasti.

"gue ga sayang lo"

take a few minutes for me buat bilang gitu doang

walau akhirnya dia terima,tapi justru gue yang mau nangis. gatau kenapa...

in the end,gue sadar...

jangan pernah lo terima cinta seseorang saat lo gak siap buat mencintai.

jangan pernah lo kasih harapan ke seseorang saat lo gak siap buat disayangin.

jujur aja setelah semuanya,justru gue merasa hampa.

gue yakin nanti gue pasti nyesel lepasin dia gitu aja.

kapan lagi ada yang sayang gue sampe segitunya?

tapi,life is still about choice,right?

for me its about take it or leave it.

sounds klise,but i dont wanna hurt him anymore.

cukup ya gue tinggalin dia dulu karena orang lain (yeah am a bad gurl in the past.)

someday,someone's gonna love me~

what a complicated drama. part 1

yakkk been a several weeks i havent write on this space.
lot things i wanna share~
hmm from where'd i have to start?

this. its about my ex. no,he's not my latest ex. he's my ex in jhs life,3years ago.

well this guy,let me call him "Rangga" haha whats the reason? coz he looks like rangga smash! yeah no one doubt that!


jadi,bout a week ago....gue twitteran sama dia. yak cerita dimulai disini.
kaya biasa twitteran becanda22 gitu. dia emang suka becanda agak lenjeh gimana gituu
makin malem,tl gue makin sepi,tinggal dia aja.
makin kesini,gue ngerasa ini kok mentionan sama dia lama2 jd inget masa lalu ya..
tapi ya gue cuekin lah.
makin kesini gue baca tweet dia kok galau gitu yak-_- tapi gue diemin..kali bukan buat guehhh
eh gataunya dia ngungkit masa lalu 'kita' yah...gimana ya gue kebawa suasana harus diakuin.
banyak yang gue kagetin disini.
ill tell ya later.
pkoknya ceritanya mah clbk.
karena gue fikit dia ga serius,gue he eh2 aja
gataunya ternyata,GUE JADI BALIKAN SAMA DIA. nah loh-_-
pas bangun paginya,gue liat hp,ini anak knp sms mesra banget...gue bingung sendiri.
ga lama gue sadar ternyata gue balikan sama dia semalem lewat twitter.
gue jedukin pala.
kenapa gue panik? karena gue gada perasaan!!
buseng tadi malem gue kira becanda...
tapi gue coba stay cool jalanin aja.
*nangis sendiri*
*i still love my freedom*


emang agak berantakan tulisannya soalnya gue bingung gimana ceritainnya-_-

a lil bit

oke gue post ini smbil liat v-clip big bang yg lollipop yang notabene bikin gue mupeng + ngiler setengah mampus liat cowo cowonya (lebeee tapi bener)

demi neptunus gue cinta bangeet sama cowo koreaaa >_<

still about my silly life

uh lala this story about my stupid conversation w/ my silly gurl Dilla
so waktu itu tengah malem seperti biasa dilla nelpon gue (yak dia emang kaya kunti nelpon malem2) dia nanya :
"ren,kata lo jaman sekarang ada gitu yang namanya miracle of love?" curiga dia lagi ngigo karena tiba2 nelpon nanya soal gitu,gue tanya balik : "Dil,lo melek apa ngga?" gue langsung kena damprat.
walau agak bingung,gue jawap sekenanya : "kebanyakan baca komik candy candy lu yak?" gue kena damprat lagi. dia nanya lagi (dan ngelantur lagi) : "Ada gak yaa cowo ganteng diluar sana yang menunggu kehadiran gueehh? " *nada dramatis* siapa juga jadi gue pasti bingung di tlp tengah malem ngomongin gituan,tapi karena takut kena kutuk,gue jawap : "insyaoloh,dil. selama lo masih waras dan mata lo masih sipit" abis gue jawap gitu,dia diem....gue makin ngeri. ini orang apa bukan yg telpon gue @@
gak lama dia bersuara lagi : "Ren,gue kangen arya" (mantan tercinta) nah baru gue sadar ini anak lagi galabil (galau dan labil). gue sahutin (warasly) : "Kenapa harus kangen lagi? udahlah.." jujur sih pas bilang gitu agak ga tega karena ya gue tau gimana kisahnya
abis gue bilang gitu dia diem lagi..curiga mendadak bocor (mewek) gue ngmng lagi : "Dill?idup?"  dia masih diem...ada kali 5 menit. gue sih anteng2 aja,bukan pulsa gue yang abis kan (he) tapi kasian juga. gue ngomong lagi : "Dillaaa halooowh" akhirnya dia ngomong : "hah apaan,ren? lo ngomong apaan? maap gue ketiduran hehe" JREEEENG gue pengen nyumpel idungnya pake semen. gondok. gantian gue yang diem...kirain dia bakal nyariin gitu,gue diemin tapi malah sepi...pas gue liat....DIMATIIN GITU LOH TELEPONNYA! itu tengah malem,gue melek sempurna dan ternyata bener aja dilla telpon gue setengah bangun. kampret. bener2 kampret.
paginya apa yang dia bilang ke gue ?

"Rennn!!!pulsa gue abis cebann!!! lo apainnn???!! panggilan ke elo semalem!!!"

saat itu pertamanya gue pengen telen orang. bulet bulet. -______-
temen gue emang ga ada yang bener *nangis di bawah meja*

Irreplaceable - Beyonce (This is so meeeee ♥)

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left

Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff, yes
If I bought it please don't touch

And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time?
And it's my mine name that is on that tag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
 
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up that chick and see if she's home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?

Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys
Hurry up before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since Im not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you
Baby I won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
To the left, to the left
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute

You could pack all your things, we're finished
(You must not know 'bout me)
'Cause you made your bed, now lay in it
(You must not know 'bout me)
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable